Meltem Narter: Standing Meditation Experience

Seeking and Finding the Divine Within

I was thrashed, I cried for the loss
of potential of one bonding
at the level of spirit.  The promise
so sweet, the loss so cruel.
When I could not
stand the pain any longer
I asked for divine's help. 
"It hurts too much.
I can't even breathe,
don't even want to.
"Love yourself," they say. 
But it ain't enough. It 
does not fill the emptiness, 
I argue in desperation. 
"I am the emptiness," a voice replied.
I went on: But I can't feel you, 
neither can I see you. Such concepts 
do not make me feel touched, 
nor wanted, or loved. 
Not even knowing if YOU heard me, 
my intuition reminded: 
"Look and see wherever you are." 
I was at the beach today, 
driven to standing meditation. 
Right before my eyes pelicans 
started turning in circles, 
folding their wings, diving, then 
floating over the surf. 
They were so beautiful.
"Oh yes, I see YOU—thank YOU" 
I murmured to myself. 
I heard a rebellious voice in 
my head grouse: "Not enough, 
I want to be touched." 
Before the idea finished forming, 
YOU started a breeze. 
A human lover can only 
caress a handful at a time. 
YOU touched me all over.
I shivered. That rebellious voice
exclaimed, "Not real!"
YOU gave a sudden whip to the breeze, 
adding a touch of sandy grit to bite. 
To YOUR cool, gentle embrace I 
immediately quieted that rebellious voice. 
I was convinced YOUR loving ws true, 
so were YOUR lessons. 
Not ready yet for one more warning. 
I was reminded once again. 
When I am in the moment, 
When I stand still; listen, look, 
touch, and allow the beauty of 
YOUR creation to penetrate me. 
I can feel the Divine. 
I can feel joy, I can feel love. 
I can feel YOUR magnificence. 
I can't help but Love YOU.
                     — Meltem Narter


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